just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize