i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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