I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
