did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
