not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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