Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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