whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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