I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
