I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
