Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
