i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
