what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
