Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
