So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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