How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Jerry, you need to find god
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
