you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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