shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
