Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
