i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
