come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
