please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
