I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
