I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
