Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
