Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
