Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
