sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
