You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
