In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
