Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize