She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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