i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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