Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
