btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
