I puked a lego.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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