Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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