life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
