careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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