Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
