Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My dick has a subreddit
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
