She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
