So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
