ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
