I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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