he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
