Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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