Kiss
Puke
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
