I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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