I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize