Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
