do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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