Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she looked like the before picture.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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