Apparently you make a good broom.
love makes seman taste better
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
