I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
