honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
