That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
