Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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