can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
