billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
