I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
