I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
