The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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