so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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