So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
