i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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