i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
