I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
