I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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