She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
