Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
