I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
