he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
