I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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