that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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