Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
