Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I will be naked everywhere
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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