Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
