glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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